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Genre: Humor/Satire

The Diary of a Canadian Nobody

The Diary of a Canadian Nobody

Arthur Lakelady has many worries. Alys, his wife, is infatuated with the home renovator re-modelling the kitchen, or so their teenage daughter Gwen says. How Gwen knows this is a mystery to Arthur for she never leaves her bedroom, except to go to school and work. Gwen’s worried a family breakup will spoil her chances of a good university. That doesn’t concern Arthur for Gwen passes all her tests, often with more than 100%. That does worry Arthur; schools, he feels, should understand the meaning of percentage. While Gwen’s university career may be assured, Arthur is worried his son Lance may not even graduate from junior school, unless Lance forsakes hockey and soccer soon.

Neither child’s university career may happen because Arthur’s biggest worry lies at work where his previously pleasant Canadian employer has just been taken over by Americans and they’ve replaced the local executives in order to introduce new ways. Arthur can see the new executives don’t think he’ll ever be new again. One particular new way that is worrying Arthur is IT and the Internet, which has become ubiquitous in 2001 and an ill-prepared Arthur is somehow supposed to lead his troops through this minefield. Arthur hires a young temp, Lydia, to help him but she only adds to his worry. He worries about her wish to be closer to him, which isn’t allowed in the new ways, and he worries she is just drifting through life without proper direction, which isn’t a good thing in Arthur’s old ways.

All these immediate, personal worries aren’t helped by a truly serious one. A modern ‘Mad Mahdi’ has just killed thousands of Americans at the World Trade Center and Canada has agreed to join America and Britain in invading Afghanistan. Arthur’s sees that the world needs someone who can clear the confusion, make the complex simple and package it into manageable pieces -- it needs a diarist. Arthur maybe a nobody right now but in centuries to come he feels he could be considered the ‘Samuel Pepys of the 21st Century’. More info →
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Black Poodle Over Seven Hills

Black Poodle Over Seven Hills

Soubrette knew the language of love- as long as it was aimed at a pitch-black teacup poodle. But baby talk didn’t get her very far when she handed the puppy over to the new owner. One hint of “does itsy wittle Fufu want a kiss from her aunty Soubrette?” and Timothy Marsh was running for Seattle’s seven hills. The poodle wasn’t the only one with baggage. Soubrette was running away from the only family she had left- her greasy blot of a cousin. Soon Timothy was involved in everything- car chases, evading P.I.’s, and flirty visuals involving French maids and feather dusters.

The last confrontation between her and her cousin takes place on the Seattle Waterfront- but will it be Timothy or the black poodle that saves the day? More info →
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Brain F*ck#d: A Zombie Cupcake Anthology

Brain F*ck#d: A Zombie Cupcake Anthology

Sex, Brains, and Zombie Rights.

~ A Comedy Anthology brought to you by Zombie Cupcake Press ~ Sex with Zombies by P. Mattern "In a politically challenging climate, Rocker Zombie Van Miller sets his sights on Velvet, the 'Tick' (human) girl of his dreams."

Zoe and the Stiff by Tressa Rabbit

Zoe has a fetish. To her, there’s nothing sexier than a man with a name hanging between his cold, undead toes. She can't get enough of the smell of rotting flesh. In her free time, she attends rallies for zombie rights, hoping to meet the man of her dreams. When she finally meets Ed, there's no time for cool feet. Instead, she plunges forward into an encounter with him that will help her obtain her goal of becoming a zombie stripper: Dancing for a fee, devouring for free. After all, zombies are people too. Sort of.

Dead Harlots by Melissa Essenmacher Liv is a zombie. Brane is a human. Fighting on different sides at a Zombie Rights Rally, what happens when they come together? When chaos erupts just remember, Zombie lives matter! Or do they?

Guess Who Is For Dinner? By Desiree King Zoey puts a whole new spin on the meet the parent's stress. Come on join the dinner party and watch the chaos as this suburban family is confronted the very thing they avoid in this world, a zombie.

Reanimated by Jessica Collins Charlotte Jones’ life is about to change, or is it death? Either way, she’s different… she’s horny… and she has her sights set on Jonathan Pike.

Undead Love by Phil Price Being single is tough, especially when you're one of the Undead. Many challenges lie ahead, especially when you're always on heat. Can true love win out? Is true love possible? Can hearts align? Albeit, dead ones.....

Right to Bite by Moxie Darling For Jennifer Tibbots, it’s hard enough being a thirty-three-year-old unmarried mom of two cats, let alone navigating the afterdeath. When she finds herself in the middle of an awkward, post-earlobe-eating breakup, she begins to fall apart. (Not literally, of course, thanks to the Z-Barrier supplement.) Can a blond-haired, blue-eyed redneck nurse named Juan with a pro-zombie agenda turn her night and her undead life around?

The Devil's Plague by T. M. Sullivan The Devil’s Plague shockingly hit the world five years ago infecting people across the globe, turning them into zombies. Trying to live a normal life, feel free and be treated fairly just like the humans. They will not give up on the quest to become equal citizens. More info →
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Brush With Fame

Brush With Fame

Chocolate-box portraits of small yappy dogs. Being blackmailed by a Hooray Henry who’s missing a chin. B&D involving a four-inch paint brush. Will Jennie be able to get even without being locked up?

Rocking up in Englad, Jennie has to fall back on her long-ignored artistic talents to make ends meet. Painting portraits of the spoiled pooches is weird, but pays a lot more than temp office work.

Everything’s rosy until Jennie runs into Rupert Smythe-Brown, an aristocratic prat used to getting his own way, no matter who gets hurt in the process. Jennie’s painted into a corner before something inside her snaps, she turns feral, and Rupert doesn’t know what’s hit him. Well he does, but for once he’s not enjoying it.

Set in late seventies London when punks liked to superglue unfortunates to the walls of The Embankment and the British aristocracy thought nothing of being thrashed for pleasure, Brush With Pain sets a spanking pace. This is the second in Andrene Low’s seventies-based Excess Baggage Series with humour that’s black, irreverent, and cutting. WARNING: This story follows on from Friday Night Fever and does contain a spoiler.

Previously published as "Mounted and Hung".

What others are saying:

“I think I enjoyed this book more than book 1. The characters are awesome, Eadie, Charlie the cat and the fur coated room. And Rupert getting stuck was hilarious. Looking forward to book #3.”

“This is the second book in the Excess Baggage series. And I loved it. There wasn't as much sex as in the first novel in the series, but the sex was replaced with intrigue and manipulative conniving! A great storyline, with some clever twists. Lovely writing, which flowed seam-lessly across the pages. The characters are strong, and it’s refreshing to see strong female characters instead of simpering weak boy-obsessed girls. Set in the 1970s in London, I loved reading about places I could recognise. The attention to detail is extreme, and I love that in a book. Looking forward to reading the next one in the series - Screwed for Money.”

“Loved the book, the second in this series. Excellent writing and plot! A must read.”


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Strapped For Cash

Strapped For Cash

Historic art thefts and forgeries. Blackmail capable of bringing down a government. Slap and tickle that could prove fatal. Will Brenda ever make a living that doesn’t involve crusty old men?

Since puberty, Brenda has never had any issues with money. She’s always been more than well cared for by the old guys she’s latched onto. She provides the company and kudos; they provide the cash. Since puberty, Brenda has never had any issues with money. She’s always been more than well cared for by the old guys she’s latched onto. She provides the company and kudos; they provide the cash.

Set in London at the end of the seventies, when the country was grappling with the iron rule of Margaret Thatcher, and the economy was in serious need of some CPR, we see Brenda struggling to sort out her own finances.

The irony that she’s being screwed out of her recently acquired nest egg by a bloke isn’t lost on her. Not keen on a day job, Brenda opens a school for girls, teaching the gentle art of screwing old chaps out of their spare change. She hopes it pans out, because apart from the financial implications, she doesn’t fancy a love life that’s destined to be littered with dodgy prostates and emergency CPR.

Strapped for Cash is the third in Andrene Low’s seventies-based Excess Baggage Series with humour that takes no prisoners—unless that’s what they’re paying for.

Originally published as "Screwed for Money".

What others are saying:

“Loved the whole series - could not put them down! Awesome characters, fantastic storyline. Can't wait for the next one to come out!

“Loved it. Couldn't wait to get to the end. HAD to know what was going to happen. Felt that all three books had finally 'tied' everything up - literally and metaphorically... This would make an amusing television series. The little nods to things from the Seventies was a great touch, there were just enough to make you cast your mind back fondly without overwhelming you with cheesy nostalgia. Not chick lit. Not pure comedy. Not romance. Not crime. But a delicious mixture of all those genres.”

“Loved this series and this book tied up everything nicely. The humor and wit throughout the book was delightful and I was laughing out loud a few times. This writer gets better and better!”


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Smashed Nuts: Prequel – Excess Baggage Series

Smashed Nuts: Prequel – Excess Baggage Series

Sixteen hundred kilos of German Engineering. Enough alcohol to preserve a dead wallaby. A crazy wife in possession of both. How is Brenda supposed to avoid running into all three?

It’s something she finds out first-hand while navigating the murky waters of dating a married man. But is Hilton really worth risking life and limb over? If he’s the only thing between her, a decent meal, and not living in her car, then that's gotta be a ‘hell, yes!'.

Set in Surfers Paradise, Australia in 1977, against a heady backdrop of the sexual revolution, gold bikinis, and lots of sunshine, when a bloke could be rich enough to be viewed as attractive even if you had to wear a bag over your own head in case theirs fell off.

Hilton isn’t the only thing stopping Brenda from being hungry and homeless, but then working as a Surfers Paradise Meter Maid to make ends meet hadn’t been high on her list of life goals, either. She’s fine with strutting around town in a gold lamé bikini, tiara, and sash, but doing so while wearing high heels has her feet crying for relief. If it wasn’t for the excellent opportunities it provided for spotting ‘willing targets’, she’d have given it up long ago.

Smashed Nuts is a prequel novella to Andrene’s seventies-based Excess Baggage Series and is a no-holds-barred look at the less than salubrious parts of the Gold Coast.

What others are saying:

“I went into this book knowing it was only a short prequel. I knew that when I bought it. That doesn't mean that I'm happy about it being so short! GIVE ME MORE! I want more stories about being a meter maid wearing a gold bikini. I want more close calls. I want more disastrous liaisons. Damn it, I wanted this to be a longer book. It's too good to be so short. Funny, nostalgic, but too short... ;)”

“Lots of laughs from the Antics of a poor young woman who wants the good life and has a unique idea on how to get it without doing boring jobs. Life doesn't go to plan though. A fast paced short read. Can't wait to read the rest of the series.”

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Friday Night Fever

Friday Night Fever

A fiancé who can’t keep his pants on, revenge that’s both inventive and vindictive, and being framed for a crime she didn’t commit. How on earth is Samantha going to survive this lot?

Sam’s life is perfect, until she finds out her boss wants to shag her and her boyfriend’s shagging someone else. It’s not something she’s going to take lying down, even if her revenge sees her having to flee New Zealand for safer shores.

Set in Melbourne, Australia in the late seventies, before email, mobile phones, and social media; when a woman could go full ‘Saturday Night Fever’, even on a Friday, without fear of achieving viral fame the following morning. Friday Night Fever will take you back to a time when women were making the most of their newly-won freedoms by behaving as badly as the boys—sometimes worse—and to hell with the consequences.

Only question is, will Sam beat the odds, come out on top, and get her happily-ever-after, or is she destined to land flat on her back, again?

Friday Night Fever is the first in Andrene Low's seventies-based Excess Baggage Series and is full of bad behaviour, bad language and lots of bad hair. If you like a laugh and enjoyed Grease, Stayin’ Alive or, more recently, That Seventies Show, then you’ll love Andrene’s cutting and irreverent take on this crazy decade.

Originally published as "This Girl's Abroad".

What others are saying:

“What a fun read! The story is unique, and the characters are super likeable. I would have enjoyed hanging out with these ladies in the seventies! The inclusion of dogs and their owners adds to the fun. Sam's romantic storyline is satisfying, and there are plenty of laughs along the way. I'm looking forward to reading more from Andrene Low.”

“Amusing, entertaining read. I would have given it 5 stars if it hadn't ended so suddenly. I was expecting more so was left wondering what happened next. But then I found book 2. Mounted and Hung. I have read this twice now, and salami boy still makes me laugh out loud.”

“I honestly loved this, and never picked the ending! The whole 1970's genre is perfectly captured in these pages, and I found myself lusting after a spa, platforms, and casual attitude to alcohol and sex! Read it and escape to a fantastic world of gold chains, cutesy dog outfits, and lots of very well written sex! Can't wait till the next instalment.”


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